I Think I Can

The human experience is a bit odd for us all nowadays huh? Your ability to adapt to these new circumstances will define the remainder of your existence. 

I find that some days I want to give up on myself. I want to give in to all of the negative sentiment, I want to prove people right and be a quitter. I find myself under a pile of mental mud that clings to every word out of my mouth, that colors every interaction. I find myself in a state of mental overload that renders me useless. 

I regress to infancy, because oftentimes when you compartmentalize your emotions they rear up as the proverbial baby crying out for a need. When there is a part of me that is crying out, all of me needs to pay attention. I am my own mother, I am my own caretaker, I am my greatest source of strength. 

Do I really believe that? Do I really believe in myself? The answer changes on a daily basis, but by not believing in myself I am the only obstacle in my way. The difference between me catching a pass and dropping it in shame is my own mental acuity. Kat, you know how to catch a ball, just DO IT.

So how do you pull yourself out of thinking about doing things and switch to just doing things? How do you truly trust your gut and instincts? You have to be 100% secure in yourself. 

You have to be secure in the fact that these waves of sadness and hopelessness will naturally come, but you will persist. I imagine myself running uphill on a sharp incline, my legs are tired and wobbly but I am the little engine that could, I think I can because I know I can. I have survived my fair share of trials, I will continue to endure whatever comes my way.